Check In With Yourself

How much time do you spend with yourself? And I don’t mean just by yourself — how much time do you spend in self-reflection or self-care? See, just like relationships with others, your relationship with yourself takes work and quality time. So making a point to check in with yourself regularly is an important practice for self-development.

Let’s take a look at how and why to check in with yourself on a regular, recurring basis.

The Importance of Checking In

When I was in college, one of the professors had a unique way of starting each lesson. The class was small, probably around 20 or so students, and at the beginning of each lesson we would all gather in a circle and “check in.” This meant each person would make some kind of comment about how they were feeling or what was on their mind. The comment could be anything — it didn’t have to relate to the class; it just had to be honest.

Then, at the end of the lesson, we would circle up again and “check out.” Again, this could be a comment about the lesson we had just finished, or it could be any other thought we had. Of course, more often than not, that second comment ended up being something that we would take away from the day’s lesson.

So what was the point of this exercise? Was it to get us comfortable sharing our thoughts in front of the other students? Probably, at least in part.

But the professor explained that she wanted to emphasize the importance of a leader — be it in a classroom or the workplace — making consistent effort to find out how each member of the team is doing. Instead of jumping right into business or projects, pausing and listening to each other helps raise morale and productivity for the whole group.

Although this particular exercise was directed at groups, the principle applies to individuals as well. Taking the time to ask yourself how you’re doing and to listen to the answer helps you gain better understanding of yourself. Then you’re better equipped to respond to negative feelings or adjust to things that aren’t working.

I’ve written before about how to reassess your goals and change direction as needed. But that isn’t the only reason to check in with yourself. Sometimes you just need to confirm you are where you need to be, so you can keep going in the same direction with steady momentum.

How To Check In With Yourself

For the best results, consistency is key. Intentionally establish routines for sitting down, being quiet, and listening to yourself. Once a week, every month, or once or twice a quarter, schedule this time in your calendar so you’ll be more likely to follow through. Then treat these appointments with yourself as though they’re just as important as appointments made with others (because they are).

I find that scheduling my check-in times to coincide with calendar changes (new week, new month, new year, etc.) makes it easier to remember and commit to. I call them Resets, and I have specific reset routines for each week and month, as well as at the middle and end of each year. Each routine has its own set of questions that I ask myself to check in on how I’m feeling and what progress I’ve made toward my goals.

But I think it’s important to make a habit of measuring both your progress and the current importance of each goal. If the reason you set that goal in the first place disappears over time — or is met in a different way — then continuing to work toward the goal may be counterproductive.

Take Action: Schedule Time With Yourself

Do this right now: mark off a time on your calendar within the next week to review the goals you set for this year. Ask yourself where each of these goals stands:

• What was your reason for setting them? Does that reason still apply?
• If not, do you still want to achieve that goal? Why/not?
• What progress have you made or not made? Why?
• What is keeping you from making more progress?
• What will potentially get in your way this month?
• What can you do about these roadblocks before you hit them?

Next, schedule time for another check-in next month. Commit to showing up at that meeting, just as you would a meeting with other people.